idk do i have one? sure. do i use it? pretty rarely
i don’t really use toys, and i’ve never heard a partner complain. like if i was with someone who wanted more strap-on, i would 100% be okay with that and out it would come, but it hasn’t been the case so i keep doing my thing. i’m all about being hands-on, pun intended. like, those babies are my pride and joy, and they have worked hard to be masters. to me, it would feel like retiring an olympian swimmer and replacing it with a pool vacuum
hey hon, first and foremost i promise you that you are not the most broken unloveable sub-human thing. not even a little bit. not even at all. you are 100% whole and full and loveable and so many good things. in terms of the asexuality thing, i can’t really speak to it bc i’ll be the first to admit that i still don’t understand the identity, especially when it gets divided up into things like demiromantic and grey and the other signifiers. i’ve always understood desire to be fluid, including the ability to desire - sometimes i feel absolutely no desire or sexual impulses, sometimes for long periods of time - so i was never really sure if that identity lined up with the way i understand desire and sexuality. but what it means doesn’t matter. what matters is that i promise you are still 100% okay. you don’t need to come into this identifier until you’re ready, and it’s okay if it still kind of squicks you out - such is the way with identities that we don’t see wide acceptance for our whole lives, especially when there isn’t a lot of knowledge about those things, especially when it makes us feel left out. i promise that sex is not the most important human experience. i promise you are not going to end up alone. we define partnerships and love on such basic shitty terms sometimes, you know? lovers aren’t just sexual partners, lifemates aren’t just lovers, love isn’t just about someone you’d marry or someone you’d fuck or someone that a passerby would interpret as your partner. love and companionship and good people you keep in your life are so much more than the few terms we use or think matter. the most important people in your life don’t have to be people you have sexual relationships with, and that is for darn sure. i know with absolute certainity that my friendships are the most consistent and loving relationships in my life. you won’t be alone, i promise. you won’t be sad forever, you won’t feel broken forever, this is not always. you’ll be okay.
you’ve got this boo. lots of love on the journey, wherever it takes us all