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"Straight girls all want to sleep with Steve Buscemi"

— Kate, when asked to name someone straight girls want to sleep with (via thetackyfemme)
in my defense, like EVERY straight girl i follow on tumblr would fuck steve buscemi, their words, not mine

Anonymous: I just wanted to write, as someone who usually enjoys your blog and the points you make on it, to express my confusion at the comments you sometimes make about straight people. I'm sure they are meant to be tongue in cheek, but if someone made a joke about being queer being "boring" or a phase we should grow out of I certainly wouldn't read it with a LOL… :-/ Maybe I'm just oversensitive to wanting us all to just get along!?

i think that poking fun at the oppressive majority doesn’t actually prevent us all from “getting along” you know? i’m not really afraid of hurting straight people’s feelings by occasionally referring to the heteronorm as boring. i mean, oppressive social expectations that are reinforced in violent ways are a lot worse than boring — they’re kind of fucking disgusting — so boring is really the nicest way i could put it

Anonymous: do you think it is appropriative or harmful in any way for straight people to identify as genderqueer or consciously dress in a gender non conforming way to try to mess with people's perception of the gender binary etc..?

i’m not sure how one could identify as genderqueer and heterosexual just based on the definition (loose as it is) of genderqueer. being heterosexual means you identify as a man and are attracted to women, or identify as a woman and are attracted to men, right? so if you’re genderqueer and in a relationship with either a man or a woman, that’s not a heterosexual relationship anymore. that’s a queer relationship, because it’s not a man/woman relationship. we could get into the deeper matters of, okay, maybe they’re afab and identify as genderqueer and are only attracted to men, in which case maybe (but only maybe) they pass as heterosexual and maybe their relationships might seem, in theory, to be the social expectation for someone socialized as a girl, but still, their identity as a genderqueer person means that their relationships are automatically queered

i think that the queer identity allows for a million different ways to be, to act, to present, to fuck, to partner up, etc. and that’s what is inherently beautiful about it. i think there is nothing harmful or appropriative about a person queering the way they dress or present even if their sexuality or gender identity is heterosexual or cisgendered. i don’t think that those of us who are considered sexual deviants have the monopoly on subverting social expectations. on the contrary, it’s nice to know that even straight people are working hard to not be as boring as we all think they are, you know?

Anonymous: have you made any friends in ireland?

i am very good friends with the butter here, the butter is life changing

Anonymous: how do you take such good selfies/work your angles? i don't know my angles. i suffer from a lot of dysphoria so i don't take selfies... i don't even like having my photo taken so i always shy away or make a goofy face. do you have any tips for building confidence? the confidence to selfie?

ever since i was a tiny half pint of a thing, my parents were giving me a hard time about staring at myself in the mirror. if i’d had the ability to take selfies at age 4, i woulda taken them. but then i grew up and stopped seeing my reflection as this amazing thing and more as this horrible thing that only worked if it was extremely sexualized or something? we could spend hours going into the strange and horrible period that is teenage girlhood. i guess what i’m saying is that there was a long period of time when i saw myself as very unattractive, and i had to sit down and force myself to keep looking, which got me back into my natural state of being a preening bastard, i think

take lots and lots and lots of selfies. you don’t need to ever show them to anyone. you don’t even need to keep them on your phone or computer or camera — if you want to delete them afterwards, that’s okay. just make a record of yourself in some way, in a way that makes you feel hot and good and valid. if that means getting dressed up to never leave the house and then taking it all off when the photos are done, that’s a-okay. if that means taking all your clothes off, a-okay as well. if that means taking 250 pictures in 20 minutes, go for it. practice makes perfect, in my experience.

i think something we forget is that we’re allowed to be hot for ourselves

thankyoubasedgosh: Yo how are the pants at topman? Because I've got some Hips (ugh) and usually men's pants are a gamble for me to rock, but good god I'd be a happy clam if I could fit into their slim tuxedo pants. PS whatever that anon said to your gf was some second-wave horseshit, jfc

the vintage slim and vintage skinny jeans at topman are stretchy(ish) but also can be worn with a nice shirt or jacket if you need to wear them to work. i also have got some serious hips so i grab typically the back of the rack or the bottom of the pile but damn, they fit, and it’s a big deal. aim says she knows people with hips who have worn the topman tuxedo pants and not had a problem. i never had an actual topman store in my locale in the states bc obviously there are not a lot of topman stores in northern bumfuck new york, but being able to try on lots of different sizes and styles in person made a worllllld of difference

Anonymous: how do you find clothes that fit your body so well?

it doesn’t usually happen, so my wardrobe is pretty…small. i’d say three quarters of what i own i acquired at thrift stores in philadelphia and upstate new york, and the rest are the rare mens clothes i find that genuinely fit me that i feel compelled to pay top dollar for because it’s so. fucking. nice. and priceless to find something that makes you feel fantastic in your gender expression

since coming to ireland, shit has been WILDLY SUCCESSFUL in the clothes fitting me department. i used to think topman was my only option for nice button ups but holy shit, thank you new look and river island for being waaay cheaper than topman and fitting me PERFECTLY. the last couple of selfies i’ve posted have been of shirts i got at new look that were 15 euro each. penney’s even can sometimes have great finds for ridiculously cheap. i also found my first pair of mens jeans that have fit me ever, classic skinny topman jeans which are only about 25-30 euro or cheaper when i use my lady’s house of fraser discount. anyway, it’s hard out here for a butch, especially bc i’m trying to create a wardrobe of mostly things i can wear to work in a professional setting. but holy wow ireland has been awesome